Definition of communication: according to the Webster’s dictionary it is a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through common system of symbols, verbal or written language, or behavior.

Let me ask you: have you ever been in a situation where you are having a very emotional conversation with a friend who ends up cutting you off and saying things that are irrelevant? I am sure this has happened to you, and I am sure you must have felt dismissed and unimportant and you promised yourself to never confide to that person again! This is one example describing failed communication or miscommunication!  

Healthy proper communication can be very difficult to achieve, yet it is the cornerstone of successful relationships, whether personal professional or casual. We need to realize that communication involves being present and understanding the emotions and intention behind the information received. Understanding the art of effective communication, whether it is to establish a meaningful connection or interpersonal relationship, will help you feel validated and get what you want. So let me give you the fundamental components of effective communication.

At its core, communication involves a sender, a message, and a receiver. However, it is more than this basic model. It requires 4 essential steps to take, which are: clarity, active listening, empathy, and feedback. Following this process ensures that the message is not only transmitted but is also accurately interpreted and understood.

 Step 1: Be clear which means that we are able to express ideas in a straightforward and unambiguous manner by choosing words carefully to prevent misunderstandings.

The focus is to be heard and understood, which requires eliminating unnecessary details that could distract or confuse the receiver. 

 Step 2: Practice active listening  which is a crucial aspect of effective communication. It involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what is being said. This skill requires that the listener pays close attention to what is being said and that he/she responds appropriately to the speaker. Active listening helps  validate the speaker’s feelings and thoughts, fostering a deeper connection and mutual respect.

Step 3 : Show empathy  which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It allows us to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person, comprehending his/her perspectives and emotions. This empathetic approach builds trust and emotional intimacy.

Step 4: Share constructive feedback which is essential in communication because it helps to clarify misunderstandings and improve future interactions. Constructive feedback needs to be specific, focused on behavior rather than personal attributes, and delivered in a positive supportive manner. This type of feedback encourages growth and improvement without causing defensiveness or resentment.

If you are not aware of the existence of these 4 steps, I understand! This process may feel overwhelming! Be patient! As you know practice makes it, if not perfect easier, and doable! It’s worth giving a shot! You will make more friends, and if you are single and dating, you will feel not only more confident on how to handle your first date but also more prone to make the best impression and get a second date…. if you want!!

I was very lucky to learn about these communication skills when I worked in a 28 day alcoholism/drug addiction center in New York City, and when I needed to establish rapport with the patients to help them break through their denial and defensiveness. It made me realize that if I could be successful in this environment I could also be successful with my clients, my family and my friends. One thing is for sure, if I forget to use this model and (I have done it), I end up with an argument and a heartbreak… not worth it!

If you need any assistance on this transformational journey, feel free to get in touch with me. It will be my great pleasure to guide you to your Victory!

«We never listen when we are eager to speak”  

- Francois de La Rochefoucauld »

Stay tuned for my next newsletter “3 easy steps to conquer your fears”

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